(Written and first shared during Advent 2020)
You know that cup of coffee or tea you thought about making for yourself this morning before a thousand undone tasks entered your mind and pulled you into the chaos? I invite you to go make that warm cup-of-care now, then come back and join me for a quiet moment of Advent.
My thoughts this morning are about parenting, because…well…I am one.
Any good parent knows and understands the exhaustion which comes with parenting, yet just how much it teaches us.
Indeed, joy and love and elation also come with the territory. I do not mean to dismiss the beauty of the parenting dance, only to acknowledge that there are moments (or many moments) which cause concern, worry, and stress. There are situations in parenting, like all of life, during which our sense of peace can seem adrift.
My life story has unfolded to include many moves and changes, single-parenting, and long-distance parenting. Needless to say, breeding ground for inner tumult. As my children age into teens and young adults, countless memories come flooding in (Thanks, Facebook!), and with the feelings of love and joy they bring, bittersweet longing and a bit of heartbreak also settle in, if just for a moment. If you have older children, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
When my children are with me, I feel at ease. I do all that I can to shower them with love and care. When they are away, I worry. I often wake with deep concern for them and face the day with the tough task of simply checking in, doing what I can from afar, and then letting go. Ask my older children, and they will tell you that it’s not unusual for them to receive a text from me saying, “I know you already know this, but…”—a mother’s intuition at work.
When our children are toddlers and learning to dress themselves, we watch with excitement, encouragement, a bit of humor, overwhelming love and adoration, and finally pride as they tackle this new thing. We might have the urge to jump in and do it for them, but it’s through the struggle that they learn, ultimately succeeding.
It’s the same with our teens as they ease into adulthood—dealing with finances, paperwork, checking the boxes required of our world, and making decisions for their life. We watch with excitement, encouragement, a bit of humor, overwhelming love and adoration, and pride as they tackle these new things. We might have the urge to jump in and do it for them, but it’s through the struggle that they learn, ultimately succeeding.
That said, it’s not easy to watch the struggle, the sometimes lack of peace, and we offer appropriate assistance and guidance as we’re able and as is accepted.
I think this is the lens through which God sees us all.
Life is indeed unpredictable; it is indeed difficult at times. Those mornings when I wake, searching for peace, I am reminded to go easy with myself.
As a good parent desires peace for their child, God desires peace for you and for me.
In making that cup of coffee or tea; in taking a few silent moments in the soft light of dawn; in inhaling and exhaling with awareness, we can move into the presence of peace that is so desired for us.
As we continue through this second week of Advent; as we light the candle of peace; as we parent today, may we do so with an awareness that this season may be one which we look back on with feelings of love and joy, or one of bittersweet longing and a bit of heartbreak. Perhaps both.
Whether we’re parenting children or parenting ourselves, let us be aware that God desires peace for each of us and give ourselves permission to allow moments in which to bask in that peace.
A blessing:
May each breath awaken peace within you.
May peace swirl around and embrace your worry.
May your worry yield to peace.
May peace be your companion.